In every leader or entrepreneur’s journey, there comes a time when they question their decisions. This questioning often stems from an “Indecisive Part” — a part of us that looks outward for guidance and reassurance, at times struggling to trust our inner judgement. This Part makes you consult with many people and often delegates making decisions to your partner, friends, or colleagues. However, no matter how well somebody knows you, they can never evaluate your life decisions for you and give you the right answer. So you keep searching. If you continue to listen to other people’s advice, you take more and more steps away from knowing yourself. Simply put it this way, if your decisions are not the result of your thoughts, desires, and vision, you are not living your life according to your values and purpose.
This article will guide you through the Core Calmfidence® System, a four-step approach to mastering your inner world and cultivating an unwavering trust in your decisions. Through Capital, Clarity, Congruence, and Choice, this process helps you reframe the Inner Critic Part, unlocking a natural sense of calm and confidence.
You probably already know that for your Core Self to operate at its best potential, your mind, body and soul, your entire system at all energy levels needs to be balanced and be in flow state of inner Calm and authentic Confidence. This is what we call being in a state of Calmfidence. For this to happened, we will get to know simple yet powerful Core Calmfidence® System –– your key to unlocking and harnessing this inner power. It’s a framework designed to help you, the Captain, reclaim the helm and steer your life with clarity, purpose, and unwavering Calmfidence — no matter what challenges arise.
The Inner Struggle of the Indecisive Part
The Indecisive Part is driven by a fear of missteps and the need for validation. It’s this Part that often pushes us to seek advice, perhaps excessively, from those around us — friends, family, mentors. However, relying too heavily on outside input can dilute our true vision and values. Decisions informed by others’ perspectives may stray from our own authentic purpose. If we let this Indecisive Part lead, we risk stepping away from living a life grounded in our own values and purpose.
The solution to this dilemma lies in understanding, accepting, and transforming the Indecisive Part, rather than silencing it. In doing so, we move closer to a state of Calmfidence — a balanced state where true confidence meets inner calm. The Core Calmfidence® System offers a way to address this inner challenge, cultivating a profound sense of self-belief and empowerment.
Capital – Invest in Your Inner Resources
Your journey begins with understanding that you are your greatest asset. Calmfidence calls this your Capital — your internal foundation of skills, experiences, and values. Acknowledging this foundation is the first step toward developing resilience in your decision-making.
Create a "Self-Trust Log" where you record decisions you’ve made and the outcomes, especially those where you trusted your instincts. Review this periodically to remind yourself of past achievements and positive outcomes from trusting your judgement. Over time, this habit strengthens your inner Capital and builds trust in your own decision-making capacity.
Clarity – Define Your Values and Goals
Once you’ve recognised your strengths, the next step is achieving Clarity. This involves deeply understanding your core values and what truly matters to you in both personal and professional life. When the Indecisive Part surfaces, returning to these values helps ground your choices in your authentic self.
Spend time writing down your top three values and aligning them with your current goals. If a choice arises and you feel the pull of indecision, refer back to this list. Reminding yourself of these priorities enables you to make decisions with conviction, reducing the pull to seek others’ opinions.
Congruence – Align Your Actions with Your True Self
Congruence is the alignment between your values and your actions. By acting in ways that reflect your inner goals and beliefs, you build consistency between who you are and how you operate in the world. This reduces inner conflict and fosters a more reliable self-trust.
Consider a leader who is passionate about sustainable business practices. They may face external pressures to prioritise profitability over sustainability. However, by consistently choosing actions that align with their values, they strengthen their inner resolve, making decisions faster and with greater confidence.
Start small. Choose one area of your business or life where you can act in a way that mirrors your values, such as choosing eco-friendly products or advocating for mental health in the workplace. Over time, this practice reinforces congruence between your intentions and actions.
Choice – Empower Your Inner Decision-Maker
The final step, Choice, is about taking ownership. By this stage, the Indecisive Part has been transformed from a critic to a guide, helping you evaluate options without losing sight of your goals. This transformation allows you to make choices that are truly your own.
When faced with a decision, sit with it first. Instead of immediately seeking advice, engage in a brief “choice meditation.” Close your eyes, visualise each option, and notice your inner reaction. Does one choice align more closely with your values and vision? This exercise can provide clarity, allowing you to make empowered, authentic decisions.
As you integrate these four steps, the Indecisive Part becomes an ally rather than an obstacle. The Core Calmfidence® System offers a framework for handling internal conflict, making choices that resonate deeply with who you are.
For those looking to delve even further, CALMFIDENCE IS THE KEY by Nell Puetter provides additional tools and insights into mastering your inner landscape and stepping into a place of empowered, resilient self-trust. This book can guide you to cultivate a mindset of Calmfidence and navigate the complexities of leadership with calm and clarity.
Through the Core Calmfidence® System, leaders and entrepreneurs can transform self-criticism into self-compassion, empowering themselves to reach new heights with inner calm and confidence