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  • Writer's pictureDr. Mohita Shrivastava

Effective strategies to outsmart Narcissists.

Updated: Apr 4





Sense of self in a nourishing way is good to sail through the tough times in life especially in this competitive era. An optimal or balanced sense of grandiose about oneself helps one to be mentally tougher, confident, stress free, and less prone to depression & anxiety.


However, it becomes toxic when it shapes into a type of personality trait of ‘narcissism’ and eventually to narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) a toxic mental health condition.


Some of the style marked behavioral traits exhibited by narcissists are mentioned below:

  • They have an inflated sense of self-importance i.e they are always pre-occupied with self.

  • Lack of empathy- completely ‘empathy deficient.’ 

  • A constant longing for attention or admiration. 

  • Dependence on external validation. 

  • Full of grandiose & high headedness

  • Inability to accept criticism even if it is constructive, reacts angrily & gets defensive.

  • Fantasies of perfection, power, success & superiority are deep rooted as insecurity.

  • Thinking themselves as unique & special. Expect recognition without achievements.

  • Arrogant, rude & intend to humiliate others. Disregard for others.

  • Often usurp conversation or situation to make themselves feel better or superior. 

  • ‘Gratitude’ is an alien term in their dictionary.

  • Envy & jealous of others because they consider themselves as the most successful and powerful person & cannot expect someone else to outshine, thereby knocking down the other person (common example is sibling rivalry)

  • Emotionally imbalanced and often exhibit mood swings psychologically fragile and might struggle to regulate their emotions. This inability to properly balance their feelings can result in aggressive impulses, verbal assaults, and manipulation.


Want to outfox the narcissists, understand & implement mentioned as under:

  • Get disconnected from their narcissistic supply: On a constant basis narcissists need gratification by showing off, ignoring boundaries, or being extra negative. Cut of this narcissistic supply by plenty of “me-time” instead of being constantly available for a narcissistic partner.

  • Give yourself time & space for healing skillfully to get the upper hand once and for all.

  • Apply ‘Grey Rock Method’ by disengaging, separating yourself to the fullest, by being non-reactive & unresponsive to the non-sense.

  • Set & enforce clear boundaries and step away if the boundary is violated. Eg: “Do not speak to me in a disrespectful tone. I won’t continue this conversation until you can talk to me in a civil way.”

  • Do not take the bait of losing cool & giving them control.

  • Go no contact, is the healthiest, way to outsmart them.

  • Never take them on face value as they are often fake.

  • Do not get subdued or explain yourself to their toxic behavior!

  • Do not expect loyalty and do not get emotionally hurt! Love yourself instead of loving them. 

Narcissists are akin to ‘gas lighters’ and considered as suffering from a severe mental illness. Narcissists struggles with interpersonal relationships with their family, friends, and co-workers as realistic evaluation about someone or the situation is missing. It’s every time someone else’s fault resulting in a broken or strained relationships & often sufferers reach a brink to cut ties.


The pathological mindset and poisonous behavior of narcissists outrightly reject the impression of being “less than perfect”. Therefore, it is better to take care of yourself by limiting them to boundaries for good mental health. 



 

Dr. Mohita Shrivastava is a guest writer and associate trainer of Calmfidence Academy. She is an internationally trained neuroscientist & a neuropsychologist and Founder of the  ‘Cognitome Program‘. She holds a Ph.D. degree (Neuroscience) from AIIMS, New Delhi, India & completed her collaborative Ph.D. research training from Kansas University Medical Centre, Kansas, USA.


She holds two master’s degrees, one in Biomedical Sciences from University of Delhi and other in Applied Clinical Psychology from Annamalai University. She also holds an Advanced PG Diploma in Applied Neuropsychology from University of Bristol, United Kingdom. She has also completed a refresher skill enhancement training on "fMRI in Neuroscience Research'' organized by MGH Athinuola Martino's Centre for Brain Imaging in collaboration with Harvard University, MIT, Massachusetts, Boston, USA in 2021. 


She has been involved in neuroscience and neuropsychology teaching, research, projects & outreach, cognitive skills restructuring/training and brain, mind & behavior, guidance, counselling for more than 12 years. She has also published various research & review articles in international peer reviewed journals.


For more information visit: www.cognitomellc.com

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