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  • Writer's pictureNell Puetter

From Inner Conflict To Congruence Within.

Updated: Apr 19

We might be constantly fighting with ourselves over what we want. To achieve that very thing, we force discipline and willpower on us and suppressing other wants and desires. It may aggravate internal conflict within us because we are wanting contradictory things.

For example, we want to complete an important project within a short time range but we distract ourselves with other insignificant things too. Or maybe in the last few days, we overwork our-self and also want our health to be unaffected. Or we want to raise our game and move on to the upgraded level but we lack natural motivation and energy to do so. It’ll then lead to a situation where a person is left with only one option and that is to question his abilities, which marks a negative impact on his state of mind and leads to self-criticism, low self-esteem, or disappointment.

Core Confidence Within
From Inner Conflict To Congruence & Confidence Within.

Moreover, unconscious distractions start to come up when we are actually supposed to be going at full speed! That’s where problems start taking root and we unconsciously enter a battlefield fighting with ourselves.

Instinctively we want to avoid such situations not just for us but for people around us who are connected to us one way or another.

However, it seems that no matter how much we try, we find ourselves in a conflict one way or another. It's almost as if an automatic or an unconscious part of us is standing in our way and forcing us to feel as if we are being torn apart and pieces of our mind are being scattered in every direction. This creates a massive split and confusion and we fall into inaction, distraction, reaction, or the wrong action trap!

As a result, we end up in a more complex state. Our thoughts become more fast-forward, but we are sadly left with less clarity, less calmness, and a lack of congruence and as such we are unable to give our full strength and let our true potential shine through.

Our increasing inner conflicts drain our motivation and make us procrastinate so much that it sabotages our desired outcomes and exhausts us mentally. We are left with worrying, stress, insomnia, and analysis paralysis that even the easiest tasks are abandoned due to suppressed decision-making power.

You want to spend more time with your loved ones, but there’s always a compelling thing for you to stay chained to your desk. You are stuck and unable to give them the time, love, and attention they deserve, which makes you feel guilty and frustrated in the long run.

On one hand, you love a person, but you are also scared to commit. It only tires your mind and soul.

In some cases, when people are trying to start a new chapter of life, they keep on procrastinating and juggling what they should do to achieve what they desire.

Being the leader, there’s a responsibility on you but one part of you wants to go after a new market segment, but another part of you wants to play safe.

But they are powerless when they can’t dare to take risky steps for the things they want. Eventually, they lose all their confidence and self-esteem as their mind-chatter gets in their way to meaningful growth.

These mixed-up situations are the root cause of change in behaviors which slowly leads to a trap of frustration, stress, and disappointment.

The truth is: you can't win the war against yourself!

Instead of overthinking, staying awake all night, vacillating back and forth between contradictory options, how would it be like to act with an authentic response?

How can we end our inner struggle and move with Clarity, Congruence, and Calmness in one direction?


How do you liberate yourself from the trap of inner battle and move forward?

A person makes up to 10,000 decisions daily and becomes aware of them only moments after taking them. One fine research shows that deep processes involving unconscious factors shape our thinking, actions, and decision-making ability at an automatic level & confirm that most of our decisions are made unconsciously.

It is as if there is a part of us making us do or think something before us realizing the fact.

When there are contradictory parts, wants, needs, and desires, inner conflicts are born. It becomes even more complex if unsolved, when our contradictory parts, wants, and desires make us being torn apart and pulled in a different direction, hindering us from actually getting what we want!

And there is an easier way to make peace with these conflicting parts at the deepest level and moving forward.

Well, first of all, it’s common to be consciously aware of only one side of an inner conflict. Therefore the first step is to be open to the idea that there is a minimum of two parts (or more ) involved in your issue.


Be courageous to deep dive & take the Right Action!

Most of us want to thrive, contribute positively, and be confident and congruent with the self and the world. It is already discussed that inner conflicts have a direct relationship with how we feel about life in general.

So the next step is to be courageous to deep dive and take the right action!

However, some people avoid clarity, because it is easier and more comfortable to find many excuses to stay in a comfort zone. Avoiding looking at the root, many people escape in distraction, reaction, inaction, or wrong actions.

Avoiding clarity in personal or professional life out of fear may make be more comfortable, but it won’t make us happier, or better. So to avoid this unpleasant feeling, some people learn to adapt and live with them, because it is easier to:

  • escape into distraction such as work or alcohol, etc.,

  • or stay in our comfort zone of inaction such as procrastination,

  • or get triggered by unwanted reactions such as anger or irritation, self-sabotage

  • or get busy with wrong actions, fight with unwanted parts or suppress them…

Distraction, inaction, reaction, and wrong action are coping tactics of the survivor.
But if you want to thrive, you have to take the Right Action!

Because, with the passage of time, the mind and body become worn out with all the overthinking, insecurities, and frustrations. In simple words, we may become detached from our true self, when our inner mind conflicts rule our lives for a long period of time.

There are cases as well in which people unknowingly suppress unwanted parts or fight them. But let me tell you one thing straight, it’ll only worsen your situation in the long run.

A client of mine, a young entrepreneur has given up completely on his passion to play tennis, as he knows even diligently works on weekends. No doubt, he ignores the inner part, that has a desire to play, have fun and engage in physical activities or have social exchange outside his work environment. Whenever a desire to play tennis comes up, he would ignore it.

And so if the “fun” part is being suppressed for a long time, it may respond at an unconscious level with heavy emotions such as low motivation, resentment, passive-aggressive behavior, apathy, overwhelmed feelings, self-victimization, helplessness, self-sabotage, self-criticism, procrastination, frustration, hopelessness, etc.

In some cases, it happens that a person is blank on even the happiest news and doesn’t know how to react.

Recognizing and integrating all inner parts of ourselves is a holistic process that usually occurs in steps and is often facilitated by professional therapies or one’s coach.


How would it be to have a natural, powerful response within, that makes you feel liberated, confident, and calm when your actions are in sync with your values and with who you are?

Instead of overthinking, forcing willpower on ourselves, juggling between the back and forth between contradictory options, how would it be to have a natural, powerful response within, that makes you feel liberated, confident, and calm when your actions are in sync with your values and with who you are?

We have a clear vision, can be in flow, and at peak performance when our mind is calm, not worrying about anything when we are able to let go and are in a state of inner peace and knowing within.

It’s an innate state of clarity when brilliant insights and aha moments come easily and spontaneously, action is powerful and efficient.

High-performing athletes, musicians, and visionary business leaders from many fields describe such states of peak performance as an experience of having great inner clarity and congruence, calmness, simply knowing within and presence.

There is an easier way which you can act on starting from now on!

You can shift from inner conflict to inner Clarity, Congruence, and Calmfidence when you know how to make peace with your conflicting desires and know, how to partner with your unconscious mind for achieving something you want! Let’s explore!

There exists a way to reclaim your Clarity, Congruence, and Calmfidence, liberated feeling, moving in one direction with your whole being synchronized with your mind, and knowing that your actions are in perfect harmony with your own values and beliefs which makes you who you are!

Partner with your unconscious to achieve maximum results in the minimum of time, without inner battling, without the need to fight with your autonomic thoughts. Because only being courageous, deep diving, and exploring all parts involved in this struggle can help you find the solution for it. In the end, you surely become the one who’s got peace of mind just because you were brave enough to take steps.

So instead of trying to get rid of these unwanted "conflicting parts" of ourselves, we should partner with them for achieving something we want with ease, achieving maximum results in the minimum of time, and enjoying our natural motivation for a thriving and flourishing life.

The good news is that the Core Calmfidence transformative and integrative approach works at the deeper, automatic level so that the solutions you find will be just as automatic. This means an end to using willpower to try to will yourself to be the way you want to be, and instead, it can just happen naturally and automatically.


As a certified Core Transformation Coach, Trainer, and the Founder of CORE CALMFIDENCE, I have helped hundreds of mission-driven people to reveal their Clarity, Calmness, and Confidence within. My mission is to empower high performers, through inner transformative work, helping them shift unwanted feelings, behavior, or thoughts. As a result, they create an impact in the world they were meant for, both on a professional and personal level.


Ready to embark on the path of enhanced performance and prosperity by mastering self-leadership?

Any journey starts with looking at the road map, where you are now and where you want to go!

To help you know where you stand in terms of your own self-leadership start FREE PROHSPER ASSESSMENT >>> HERE >>>

Discover (in 3 minuets) how much inner power (Psychological Capital) you have to slice through the ups and downs in the ocean of life.


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