As the Captain of your ship, it is crucial to understand not only the individual crew members but also the deep-rooted programs running behind the scenes—core beliefs that act as the navigation system guiding your journey. Some of these programs are positive and steer you toward growth and fulfilment, while others—known as negative core programs—operate like faulty maps, leading you off course and into turbulent waters. These negative programs shape your Parts, which then generate thoughts, actions, decisions, and ultimately, the quality of your life.
These Negative Core Programs are beliefs ingrained in your unconscious, often formed during childhood. They are usually triggered by challenging or traumatic experiences, where your psyche tried to make sense of painful situations. When left unchecked, these programs create a downward spiral that impacts your self-worth, finances, health, relationships, career, and overall well-being. After working with more than 2000 people in workshops and individual sessions, I can cluster them as 8 Negative Core Programs, how they are triggered, and how they can impact the life of an entrepreneurs and professionals.
In the journey to develop Calmfidence, it’s crucial to understand how deep-seated beliefs can derail personal growth and well-being. At the root of many struggles are what we call "The 8 Negative Core Programs" — negative beliefs formed from past experiences that cloud our clarity and hold us back.
To move forward, you need to be able to recognise and address these unconscious programs.
Let’s break each of them down, examine the experiences that trigger them, and provide real-life examples of how they can create a downward spiral for a typical entrepreneur or ambitious professional. Are you ready and brave enough to deep dive?
1. I Am Not Safe
This Negative Core Program stems from a lack of trust in the world and the people around you. It can arise from childhood experiences of neglect, abuse, or being in environments that were unpredictable or unstable. As adults, those carrying this belief often feel anxious, hyper-vigilant, and avoid taking risks, as their subconscious mind is always on the lookout for danger.
Triggering Experiences:
Early childhood trauma such as emotional, physical abuse.
Living in a volatile or unsafe household growing up.
Frequent experiences of betrayal or abandonment by caregivers.
Entrepreneur Mark, a 45-year-old business owner, has built a small but successful consulting firm. However, he struggles to scale his business because he is reluctant to delegate tasks or trust his team with important responsibilities. He micromanages every aspect of the company, working long hours and neglecting his personal life. This leads to burnout and strained relationships at home. His belief that he is not safe in the world causes him to create an exhausting and unsustainable work environment, where he tries to control everything to mitigate his fears.
2. I Am Worthless
The Negative Core Program that "I am worthless" arises from being made to feel inadequate or unimportant during formative years. This can develop when one’s achievements were constantly dismissed, or when love was conditional on performance. People with this belief often have low self-esteem and sabotage their own success because they don’t feel they deserve it.
Triggering Experiences:
Growing up in a highly critical or perfectionistic household.
Consistently being compared to siblings or peers.
Receiving little positive reinforcement for achievements.
Entrepreneur Susan, a 52-year-old startup founder, has had a string of failed ventures. She constantly doubts her own abilities and feels she doesn't deserve success. Despite having innovative ideas and a strong work ethic, she second-guesses herself at every turn. In meetings with potential investors, her lack of confidence is palpable, and it causes others to lose faith in her. Over time, Susan’s self-doubt erodes her motivation, leading her to abandon projects prematurely, reinforcing the belief that she is unworthy of success.
3. I Am Powerless
This Negative Core Program stems from a sense of helplessness, often rooted in childhood environments where one had no control over outcomes. As adults, those with this core belief struggle to take initiative or make decisions, often feeling that life is happening to them rather than being in their control. They may become passive, easily manipulated, or avoid responsibility.
Triggering Experiences:
Growing up with authoritarian or overbearing parents who never let the child make decisions.
Experiencing bullying or being in situations where the individual had no autonomy.
Being raised in environments where others (such as parents or siblings) dominated or controlled outcomes.
Entrepreneur Alex, a 38-year-old tech entrepreneur, has great ideas but often hesitates to take bold actions. When things go wrong, he blames external circumstances, believing that the market, investors, or competitors are the reason for his setbacks. His belief in his own powerlessness makes him reactive rather than proactive, missing out on opportunities to pivot or innovate. As his business stagnates, he feels more helpless, feeding into a downward spiral of inaction.
4. I Am Not Lovable
This core belief emerges from feelings of rejection or neglect in formative relationships. It leads to a constant need for external validation and approval, as individuals don’t feel inherently worthy of love. People with this belief may either become overly needy in relationships or push others away, fearing rejection.
Triggering Experiences:
Growing up in a home where love and affection were conditional.
Feeling abandoned or emotionally neglected by caregivers.
Repeated experiences of rejection in personal or romantic relationships.
Entrepreneur David, a 40-year-old founder of a marketing agency, craves validation from his clients and employees. He goes above and beyond to please everyone, often to the detriment of his own mental health and business. He overpromises and underdelivers because he can’t say no to people. His inability to set boundaries results in stress and constant dissatisfaction with his performance, creating a vicious cycle where he feels unappreciated and unloved.
5. I Cannot Trust Anyone
This Negative Core Program develops in those who have experienced betrayal, abandonment, or a lack of support from important figures in their life. People with this belief find it difficult to rely on others, whether personally or professionally. They may isolate themselves, avoid vulnerability, or always assume the worst in others.
Triggering Experiences:
Being lied to, cheated, or betrayed by family, friends, or romantic partners.
Experiencing manipulation or deceit in business or personal dealings.
Childhood experiences where promises were repeatedly broken.
Entrepreneur Emma, a 55-year-old entrepreneur, built her business from the ground up. Despite her success, she refuses to collaborate or seek help from others, believing that people are only out to take advantage of her. She’s lost valuable partnerships because of her distrustful nature. As a result, her business growth is stunted, and she feels increasingly isolated in her industry, perpetuating the belief that no one can be trusted.
6. I Am Bad
This Negative Core Program can stem from deep feelings of shame or guilt, often from being overly criticized or punished during childhood. People who carry this program believe they are fundamentally flawed, leading to self-sabotaging behaviors and avoidance of opportunities that could lead to success.
Triggering Experiences:
Being constantly criticised or blamed as a child.
Growing up in a highly religious or moralistic household where guilt and shame were prevalent.
Having a parent or caregiver who frequently expressed disappointment.
Entrepreneur Tom, a 37-year-old app developer, struggles with imposter syndrome. He constantly feels that no matter how hard he works, he’s not a "good enough" person to deserve success. Despite his talent, he self-sabotages by procrastinating or missing deadlines, which in turn causes his clients to lose faith in him. Tom’s belief that he is inherently bad creates a cycle where he unconsciously makes poor decisions to confirm his negative self-image.
7. I Am Alone
This Negative Core Program forms when people have experienced emotional neglect or felt consistently unsupported by those they counted on. It can create a sense of isolation, making it difficult to reach out for help or form deep connections. Individuals with this belief often struggle with loneliness even in the presence of others.
Triggering Experiences:
Being emotionally neglected by parents or caregivers.
Frequent moves or changes during childhood, leading to difficulty forming lasting friendships.
Losing a close loved one at a young age.
Entrepreneur Sarah, a 50-year-old business owner, has always prided herself on being independent. However, deep down, she feels isolated. She avoids networking events and hesitates to form alliances with other entrepreneurs because she believes no one truly understands her struggles. Over time, her isolation leads to emotional exhaustion, and she finds herself disconnected from both her business and personal life.
8. I Am Always Guilty
This Negative Core Program stems from taking on an excessive sense of responsibility for others' feelings and outcomes. People with this program tend to apologize constantly, feel guilty for things outside of their control, and struggle to assert themselves.
Triggering Experiences:
Growing up with overly dependent or emotionally manipulative parents.
Being blamed for family problems or dynamics beyond one’s control.
Early experiences of being the peacemaker or caretaker in the family.
Entrepreneur John, a 60-year-old restaurant owner, is constantly apologising to his staff and customers—even for things outside of his control. He feels guilty taking time off or enforcing company policies. His employees start to take advantage of his leniency, leading to chaos in the workplace. John’s overwhelming sense of guilt prevents him from being an effective leader, and as his business starts to fail, he takes full responsibility, believing it’s all his fault.
Breaking the Spiral with CLARITY
In the Core Calmfidence System, the second element of CLARITY is essential. Just like a ship cannot navigate without a clear view of the waters, you, as the Captain of your inner world, need clarity to steer your life in the direction you desire. At the core of many struggles are The Eight Negative Core Programs—deep-rooted beliefs that sabotage your growth and hold you back. These programs, much like unruly crew members, are driven by different Parts of your psyche, each operating with outdated strategies to protect you from perceived threats.
When you gain CLARITY, you begin to recognise these Parts for what they are—fragments of your inner world that may be acting out of fear, self-doubt, or pain. As the Captain, it’s your job to not only recognise these troublemakers but to guide them with a new holistic understanding. Instead of allowing these Parts to throw your ship off course, you can get to know them, heal them, and show them more resourceful and sustainable ways of helping your true Core Self.
By bringing these Negative Core Programs into the light, you can break the downward spiral they create. You take back the steering wheel, regaining control over your life's direction. As the Captain, you transform these Parts from chaotic saboteurs into cooperative allies, enabling you to sail toward your true potential with confidence that stems from self-trust.
In the book CALMFIDENCE IS THE KEY we explore the Core Calmfidence System process of resetting these Negative Core Program. This means getting to know your Parts (sub-personalities) that are running these outdated software in a background. Additionally, you will learn, how to rewrite the old program, how to update the troubled Part and turn it into resourceful ally.
The Core Calmfidence System process helps you to acknowledge and accept all Parts of your Self, as this is the vital foundation of your inner power that comes from knowing and trusting yourself at the deepest level.
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